tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965601305215793834.post7306452396816458780..comments2021-09-13T06:32:20.612-07:00Comments on The Chickadee Tweet: {Ottawa Doula} Frame of MindMisty Pratthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04107274364128577601noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965601305215793834.post-66775613466846768162011-11-18T18:07:49.802-08:002011-11-18T18:07:49.802-08:00I don't have children, this is just my 2cents ...I don't have children, this is just my 2cents from working with so many in their home, class, and observing other parents. <br />I think AP is wonderful, I plan on being one FOR SURE. <br />I also know how draining and demanding the toddler years are.. and at that stage they clearly test their boundaries and limits. Setting boundaries and limits, schedules, routines usually DO make the child more secure and happy.. it can take careful observation (at least, for me) to know how to handle a situation. Everything is so different, every single day. I like to tell parents I work for that if something is not really a big deal, just move on and think "better luck tomorrow", but if something is a HUGE deal (ex: bed time.. meal times.. something that will happen EVERY DAY) it's better to try to get a grip on it as early as possible. Children, just like adults, get set in their ways. I think NO is a word children should hear from their parents, it is something they will hear their entire life. Who better to teach them how to deal with hearing 'No' than mommy?? You don't have to be mean about it, but when you say it , I think you should mean it. Crying is another, everyone cries, even adults. When the children I work with cry I try to explain their feelings to them , since they don't really understand frustration, sadness, whatever else yet. "I know, you are sad (mad , etc) that you have to go to sleep now.. " and cuddle, comfort them.. or if they are already speaking "Are you sad that you have to go to sleep? It is so hard to go to sleep, isn't it?" just acknowledging their feelings , in my experience, can calm them down and let them know it's completely acceptable to feel that way and you are there for them. Setting clear expectations seems to be another huge issue.. sometimes children just don't know what the parents are expecting, especially if every day those expectations change. I KNOW, you're probably like "Why are you saying this when you don't have kids?" but just advice from the pre-k teacher/nanny . Take it or leave it ;)! I love reading your blog! I have been meaning to comment on this since the day you posted it! xo- MEGANAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965601305215793834.post-33288351422677333392011-11-02T18:46:33.769-07:002011-11-02T18:46:33.769-07:00I wrote you on this but it's not showing :(I wrote you on this but it's not showing :(LeeAnnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17483787318358832129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965601305215793834.post-59143583997949083142011-10-31T05:07:16.681-07:002011-10-31T05:07:16.681-07:00I really feel for you right now because I have str...I really feel for you right now because I have struggled with similar things. I had to night wean my ds around age 2. He was nursing ALL. THROUGH. THE. NIGHT. still and it was hard on me as I work full time. My back hurt and I was tired. I felt like I couldn't even go to the bathroom for fear of him waking up. All the things that I was totally fine with under a year, under 18 months, were really starting to wear on me. It wasn't a simple weaning process, but in the end, it was something that worked out for both of us. While I would and did "suck it up" age 18 months and under, as he was getting older, it was something that needed to be done.<br /><br />I absolutely think that you ARE an attached parent just based on this post. I also think that sometimes we mistake (as kids get older) needs and things they think they need (I'm not going to say wants here). Boundaries are good, and I don't think it means that you need to be "tough". With my son, I started talking about how "yums" were for before bed, and when he woke up, no matter how tired I was, I tried to gently reinforce this. When I really needed some help, dh stepped in. <br /><br />I think the key is to find something that works for you both, and be consistent about it. Talk about it in advance, let her know what you're doing and then implement it over the course of the next week or so on a consistent basis. <br /><br />Please let us know how it goes!<br /><br />@jennabitbolJennhttp://jexalt.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965601305215793834.post-31446831247987714692011-10-30T20:19:08.813-07:002011-10-30T20:19:08.813-07:00I, like you, fell into AP and didn't know what...I, like you, fell into AP and didn't know what it was until later. Since I've read more about the vaules behind this "choice" I have found a lot more confidence in my decisions. I think we always need to remember to do what is best for EVERYONE in the family. I dug this up and thought it might help you through your current struggles: "What AP is Not by Dr. Sears - http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/attachment-parenting/what-ap-notAliciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11565759832834480920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965601305215793834.post-3180979715914737562011-10-30T17:44:47.568-07:002011-10-30T17:44:47.568-07:00Oh, yes! Sometimes I make choices that I think up...Oh, yes! Sometimes I make choices that I think upset my child immensely because I KNOW it is best for her. And I"m not talking about the spanking kind of best for her. As soon as I realize that sleep or food or even comfort is a priority, I let very little get in my way of my mission. It helps to keep my eye on the ball as we go through the drama and hardship of it all.<br /><br />That said, I fail miserably most of the time with the conundrum you speak of. I wobble back and forth between thinking my children need more discipline vs. more understanding. As I remember, I think I could have used more understanding as a kid - but the previous generous surely had a different spectrum than we did!<br /><br />What I know for sure is that you will most certainly know what you should have done ten years from now in hindsight.<br /><br />I look forward to seeing your movie recommendation, by the way.Julie Wallbridge (feminist farmer's wife)https://www.blogger.com/profile/07470432081002846531noreply@blogger.com