Recipe Week Post #3: Lentils, lentils and more lentils

Okay, okay, so I'm slightly obsessed with lentils - if you can't already tell from my first and second post this week. And I JUST discovered an organization called Canadian Lentils, which (although they're not very clear about their mandate on the website) I believe supports Canadian lentil growers.

But I realize not everyone is overly fond of the little bean. I'm married to one of those people *SOB* I remain convinced that I can convert the wayward lad, and bring him over to the land of plentiful little lentils.

Here's why I love lentils:

• I just can't get over how easy lentils are to cook - no soaking necessary! They take on the flavour of any sauce/soup you put them in, and can be ground down to make fantastic dips. They're also lovely in salads!

• A huge package of lentils will cost me $1.50, compared to the $10-15 (sometimes more!) I spend on a meal that includes chicken, pork or beef.

• They're packed with fibre and protein and all sorts of healthy vitamins/minerals. If you pair lentils with a grain or cheese, you end up with a complete protein, something which is really important if you're eating vegetarian while pregnant.

This is called Curried Red Lentil and Kale Soup, and was adapted from Living Without

2 tbsp veggie oil
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 small onion, diced
1 celery stalk, diced
1 large carrot, diced
2 medium potatoes, diced
1 tbsp tomato paste
1 tbsp curry powder
1 cup red lentils
1 cup chopped kale
4 cups veggie stock (I mixed 2 cups water, 2 cups veggie stock to cut down)
1/4 tsp ground coriander
1/8 tsp ground cumin
2 tsps lemon juice
1/4 cup coconut milk

In a large pot, heat oil over medium heat. Add the onion and garlic and cook for several minutes. Add the celery, carrot and potato and cook for 5 minutes until tender.

Add the tomato paste and curry powder, and cook for 30 seconds while stirring. Add the red lentils, stock, coriander and cumin. Bring to a boil, and then reduce heat to medium low. Cover the pot and simmer for 10 minutes.

Add the kale and cook for another 5 minutes.

Garnish with lemon juice and coconut milk and enjoy! Serve with freshly baked whole grain bread or naan bread.

Recipe Week Post #2: When Two Tastes Collide

When I first met my husband, I thought he was an adventurous eater. He happily accompanied me to Indian and Thai restaurants, and suffered through my disastrous first attempts at cooking (anything other than boxed Mac & Cheese and chicken nuggets). We started dating soon after I was back from a trip to Thailand, and I was eager to expand my somewhat limited repertoire of teenage recipes (by the way, I STILL use my Clueless in the Kitchen cookbook on a regular basis. It's amazing for simple, go-to recipes).

However, I later discovered that my husband was, in fact, just trying to woo me, and really had little interest in the alternatives. He was raised on meat, potatoes and veggies, and his favourite meal is still barbecued chicken breast with some kind of sugar-laden sauce gooped all over it. Over the years, he has had to endure my commitment to buying only humanely-raised local meat, sourcing a cow for raw milk (and attempting to make my own cheese, yogurt and butter), and cooking with copious amounts of legumes. And he has been very supportive...truly.

It's tough, however, to spend a lot of time on recipes and meals that are not enjoyed by the whole family. Hubby eats my forays into vegetarianism and veganism to be polite, but darling daughter doesn't even bother.  While I'm moaning and oohing over the tasty things I throw together, husband is blandly picking away at his plate, and daughter is throwing hers at the wall.

It's been a REAL struggle trying to find recipes that please us all, and most of the time I just fail - I often end up making my own dish, and pairing it with a hunka meat (local, pasture-raised) that's been thrown on the bbq. However, there is one dish so far that's been a winner for the whole family. Every time I make this, we all gobble it up!

Warning: You must be open to eating lotsa butta if you want to try this recipe. I strongly feel that, unless you have dairy allergies, butter should be part of a well-rounded diet. It's silly to shun all saturated fats, especially in favour of chemically-laden margarines (ick!!). However, if you DO need an alternative, check out Earth Balance. They don't work as well in this dish, but it could certainly be a substitute!

Pasta with Red Lentils and Spinach
(taken from Didi Emmons Vegetarian Planet)

1 lb whole wheat pasta (or your fav gluten free variety)
8 tbsp of butter or butter alternative - don't even think about skimping here!!
2 garlic cloves, smooshed
2 inches of ginger, cut into thin strips (hubby detests big pieces of ginger, so I've sometimes resorted to using 1 tsp of dried ginger or pre-processed mashed ginger)
1/2 tsp dried sage
3/4 cup red lentils
1 cup water
3 cups spinach, packed
salt and pepper to taste (I personally find I need at least 1/2 tsp salt for this dish)

Cook pasta, and set aside. In large skillet, melt butter over medium heat, just until it begins to brown. Add ginger and garlic and cook until fragrant. Next, add sage, lentils, water and salt. Bring to a boil, and then lower the heat and simmer (covered) for 10 minutes or until lentils are just tender (they can still be slightly crunchy).  Stir in spinach and cook until wilted. Add pasta, and cook until heated through. Season with pepper and watch with pleasure as your family devours it.

Recipe Week: Eating for Two

Clearly, I'm not a food photographer, because if you head over to Oh She Glows (where I got this recipe), you will see a much prettier picture of the dish above. My friend and fellow blogger Jayda Siggers, has inspired my choices of recipes this week!

This week I'll be sharing the meals that I'm cooking up, to feed my babies' demand for more protein and iron (and my own demand for more fibre!!) My goal with all the meals this week will be to add:

- more greens
- a rainbow of colours
- as much fibre as I can take (pregnant gals, you know what I'm talking about!)
- non-dairy, non-meat sources of protein

Today's dish - which was eaten for dinner last night - is called the Lightened Up Protein Power Goddess Bowl (lightened up because the blogger has adapted this recipe to include less fat). Gotta love that name! I made some adjustments to the recipe, based on what I had in the veggie drawer:

1 cup green lentils, cooked ahead of time
1 cup quinoa, cooked ahead of time
1/2 tbsp veggie oil
1/2 onion, chopped
3 garlic cloves, minced
1/4 head of purple cabbage, chopped
1 tomato, chopped
3 cups kale, chopped
1/2 cup fresh parsley, minced
1 batch Tahini-Lemon Dressing (see below)
salt and pepper to taste
squeeze of lemon juice

Make dressing, and cook lentils and quinoa in advance. In a large skillet, heat oil over medium heat. Saute onion and garlic for 5 minutes, and then add cabbage and tomato. Saute for another 7-8 minutes. Stir in chopped kale and cook just until tender. Add the tahini-lemon dressing, lentils and quinoa. Remove from heat and stir in parsley. Serve warm with a squirt of lemon juice on top (Makes 6 cupes - I cut the recipe in half last night!)

Tahini-Lemon Dressing


1/4 cup tahini
2 garlic cloves
1/2 cup fresh lemon juice (about 2 lemons)
1/4 cup nutritional yeast (had no idea what this was, but found it at Bulk Barn!)
2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
salt and pepper, to taste
1 tbsp of water (or as much as needed to achieve desired consistency)

In a food processor, combine all ingredients. Makes about 1 cup of dressing.

{Ottawa Doula} Fat Chance: Being Pregnant and "Overweight"

I wrote this post a long time ago - like, 8 months ago. This was inspired by a client of mine, but I've used no identifying information and have the ultimate respect for confidentiality. This is a rant/story about an issue more of us need to be talking about - and not just for pregnant women, but for all women who dare to surpass the dreaded BMI cutoff point.

I'm angry over a policy (or perhaps a subtle tactic) by which overweight and/or obese women are routinely treated in a disrespectful and unfair way by the birthing community - I say "community" because I don't know how far this form of treatment extends. Suffice it to say, I've only heard bad experiences with OBs. But I'm sure there are nurses, midwives and even doulas out there who have crossed the line of ethical behaviour.


Picture this: you are excited for your 20 week ultrasound appointment, at which point most women will meet their obstetrician for the first time (prior to this, you have been cared for by your family doctor, who may also exhibit similar biases, but with whom you most likely have a good working relationship).

The doc walks in, sits down, and begins rattling off alarming statistics about weight and pregnancy. They advise you not only to "gain 0 pounds," but say it may be beneficial for you to lose weight over the next several months. "Don't worry, they say, "your baby will just eat you." They begin to lecture you on diet and exercise, all the while strapping the blood pressure cuff to your arm. Your blood pressure reads high (no surprise, given Dr. Destructor has just crushed you like you were an annoying bug flying around the room).


At no point in this discussion are you:

a) congratulated on your pregnancy

b) asked how you are feeling

c) probed further for evidence of your lifestyle (do you exercise, eat well, and try to lower stress?)

d) asked about your preferences, knowledge or opinions

Based on your (false) blood pressure reading and BMI, you are automatically referred to a high-risk obstetrician, who treats other women with dangerous medical conditions which can potentially put the lives of their babies and themselves at risk. Your baby, on the other hand, is thriving and by all accounts growing well.

You're out the door in 15 minutes.

The following appointments are all the same - they always begin with, "because your BMI is high, you are at a much greater risk for stillbirth. You will most likely have a c-section. You will need to speak to the anesthesiologist prior to labour so that he can tell you all about the epidural you'll be getting."


This is the part of the post where all the swearing came in, but I've done some rewriting and tried to tone it down. Hubby wants me to keep my positive outlook on life intact. I'm also reiterating here that this is all my opinion, based on anecdotal evidence. Maybe you've had a different experience - I'm happy for you. But at a hospital not-to-be-named here in Ottawa, lots of women with higher BMI's are having a shitty experience. Oops, I swore - sorry.

At NO point in anyone's care should they ever be treated as a patient without a right to respect and evidence-based information. And yes, I realize there is evidence out there that more weight on a woman can complicate a pregnancy. But is this the case for every woman? And should that evidence cloud our vision enough to lose sight of the fact that individuals deserve a shared decision-making model of care? (where a patients' values and preferences are of utmost importance - read more here)

We as a society have some serious work to do in our treatment of the "epidemic" of overweight/obese individuals. Every strategy our government and health care providers have adopted treat weight as some form of disease that needs to be eradicated. In all my work I have done with eating disorders, I know three things to be true: Weight is NOT the problem. Willpower is NOT the problem. Fat people are NOT lazy.

The problem is how we function as a community; how we market food to individuals; how the food industry prepares the crap we can buy anywhere, anytime; how our fast-paced world allows for little or no time to reconnect with our bodies and our minds. I could go on and on (and perhaps I will in another post!) about the TRUE reason for weight issues, and none of the "solutions" we have implemented come even close to dealing with the root cause.

News flash: fat women can be healthy. I will be the first to admit that I'm skinny and slightly unhealthy. I don't exercise enough, I eat a lot of junk (at least lately!), and I fail miserably at coping with stress. And yet I have met women 50 lbs (or more) heavier than me who regularly participate in activites, have ample reserves for coping with day-to-day life, and eat as well as anyone can in an environment where industrial food is available at every corner.

If you are overweight and thinking about getting pregnant, be prepared to get stuck with a care provider who will treat you for your weight, and not for who you are as a whole person. Be prepared to meet with resistance at every corner. Every decision you make will be assessed against your BMI, and you may not be "allowed" to do some of the things you want to do.

Does this mean that you are stuck in your situation? Absolutely not! Despite the fact that we live in a country with universal health care, you still have the right to shop around. You are paying for this out of your taxes, and in no way do you need to settle for prejudiced care. Make sure to find a doctor that seems to be about the "whole package" rather than the number on the scale. The last thing you need during labour and birth is to be at the whim of a doctor who is blinded by your fat. I advocate midwifery care whenever I can, but especially in these cases - you will have a much greater chance of receiving positive direction rather than negative attention. Midwives can do a "shared-care" approach in these cases, where you continue to see your high-risk team at the same time.

Listen Up: This is not just an issue for overweight individuals to deal with on their own. This is an issue we all need to face.

Women are not numbers, and many doctors have a hard time remembering that fact. Our healthcare is suffering in this country because we put all of our faith in the numbers, with little regard for individual's feelings and preferences. Doctors (and other care providers) seem bewildered by any pregnant woman who doesn't heed their unwelcome advice - they label them "problem" patients, and throw up their hands in frustration. If you think practicing obstetrics is about "saving" someone, you need to find yourself another job. Women having babies don't need to be saved - they need to be heard.

As with any prejudice, fat bias hides away in the closet, peeking its nasty head out from time-to-time. Well, it's peaked out one too many times...

Enough is enough! Open your closet doors, air out your dirty laundry and give fat a chance.

A Correction! (and My Experience with Prenatal Classes)

First Off, I missed some important classes offered in Ottawa in my last post and also wanted to make a correction - Mothercraft offers a fee-based class tailored to all expectant couples in Ottawa. According to Mothercraft staff, their content is similar to that which is offered through the Ottawa Childbirth Education Association. My apologies for confusing this with their Birth and Parent Companion Program, which is designed for families with little or no support. I blame my pregnancy brain for this mistake :)

And thanks to all my readers for pointing out other great classes in the city - how lucky we are to have so many choices!

Birth to Breastfeeding
Healthy Beginnings (the Bradley method)
Journey Into Life (Hypnobirthing)
Mother Nurture Childbirth Services (Ottawa Valley)
Ottawa Prenatal Services (Riverside South)

Top 10 Innovative Ways to Stay Cool During Pregnancy

10) Eat lots of ice cream and/or popsicles. Even if you gain 50lbs during pregnancy, it's OK.

9) Have a cold shower, and then run naked to your bed. Let evaporation do its job.

8) Run through the splash pad with your toddler (bonus points if you try to splash the other parents)

7) Put your head under the water sprays in the produce aisle of the grocery store (bonus points if you then toss your wet hair in a very sexy way, attracting the eyes of the produce boys)

6) Buy a Japanese Ice Bra!

5) Drink hot tea (the British in India swore by this)

4) Bathe your feet in ice water (bonus points if you do this at the office)

3) Crunch loudly on ice cubes (again, the cubicle is a great place for this - especially to annoy your insufferable cube-mate)

2) Always expose your stretch-marked belly at the beach by wearing a bikini (bonus points if your bum is eating your bikini bottom)

1) Go skinny dipping (bonus points if you do this in a public pool)

Why The Office is Bad for Pregnancy

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Everyone  knows that our sedentary lifestyle is slowly killing us. When we work 8-9 hours a day sitting at a desk, come home, and plop ourselves down in front of the TV, we know we're doing our body a disservice. But what choice do we have? Money needs to be made, and our jobs are sometimes stressful (hence why we zone out in front of the TV every night).

But all the risks associated with our choices seem so far off in the distance. It's hard to take cardiovascular disease seriously when there's a "chance" that we'll develop problems. The payoffs we get now (money, power, job satisfaction) outweigh the negative impacts we may experience years down the road. That's why it's so hard to change - getting more exercise, eating better, and lowering stress have long-term benefits. Our brains are hard-wired to want what we want RIGHT NOW.

However, pregnancy is a short time in our lives. Long enough that we can appreciate what our bodies are putting us through, but short enough that we can see the outcome. And office life can have some detrimental effects on pregnancy and birth. But the good news is that short-term positive changes can be made to facilitate a healthier and less stressful pregnancy. And when we can see the benefits (i.e. a healthier mommy and a healthier baby), then we're much more motivated to make changes.

I've worked in an office for many years, and have never had an issue with sitting for long periods of time, typing all day long, and working under fluorescent lighting. Never, that is, until I got pregnant. Pregnancy changed my body, and made it hard to handle the demands of office life.

So here are some tips/tricks I have learned along the way, in both my first pregnancy and this pregnancy:

1) If possible, try to work from home or negotiate "flex hours" with your manager. Even 2-3 days a week at home can give you a much needed break from the fake lighting and lack of fresh air. Plus, you'll save time on your commute, which will give you the opportunity to get a bit of housework done or go for a walk.

2) Drink lots and lots of water. Office buildings have recirculated air, which can make them stuffy and dry. Keeping yourself well hydrated is a must.

3) Get up frequently - every 10 minutes. Go to the bathroom (not hard when your bladder is getting squished); take a quick trip to the water cooler; go for a walk around the building; or just do some stretching by your chair.

4) Sitting - we have an epidemic of malpositioned babies here in Ottawa. Some suspect it's because most of us are government/office workers, and we spent a lot of time reclined back in our chairs. This encourages our babies to take the "sunny side up" position, which can make labour and birth long and difficult (usually resulting in more interventions). One way to fix this is to buy an exercise ball to sit on instead of your office chair. This encourages you to arch your back, open your legs up wide and strengthens your core muscles.

5) Activate your commute. I park my car a 15 minute walk from work, which forces me to get 30 minutes of physical activity each day (I try to do a power walk). On the days I take the bus, I get off at a stop further away from the office, which again helps me to get short bursts of activity.

6) TV at night is still OK - just remember what I said above about posture and positioning. If you're watching TV at night with your hubby, bust out your yoga mat, and do some stretches. Or sit on your exercise ball instead of the couch. Even better? Turn off the TV and sign up for a yoga class!


Have you learned any special tricks/tips for being pregnant in the office?

Sisters

The technician gave this "personalized" picture to A

It's official. Although I've long suspected it, our ultrasound confirmed it - we will be welcoming another little girl into our family.

The first time was a surprise (although I also suspected I was having a girl). It was a wonderful surprise to have at the moment of birth. I would have done the same again this time, if it were not for the 15 boxes of girls clothes we have packed away in our tiny storage area in the basement. I absolutely refused to worry about reorganizing/packing clothes if we ended up having a boy, as most of the stuff we have is not gender neutral.

This pregnancy seemed different from the start. I began having cravings almost immediately, in the form of lots of red, salty meat. Most people who know me know that I enjoy eating mostly vegetarian (although I'm not strict about this in the least - I also really enjoy fish and humanely-raised chicken). However, within days after conception, I was craving big steaks, meat pies and yes.....I'll admit it.....even a McDonald's hamburger (yuck, I hope I never have to write that again!)

So hubby and I started suspecting it might be a boy. Although we both desired a healthy baby, regardless of sex, I think hubby had a secret wish for a boy - who can blame him, growing up with two older sisters? Even our dog is a girl!

But when the midwife first heard the heartbeat at 9 weeks, I knew immediately it was another girl. I totally believe in the midwives' tale of determining sex by the heart rate - girls have higher heart rates, and boys have lower heart rates. This is, obviously, not always the norm (and if you have a baby in the middle, say around 135-140 beats/min, it's hard to tell!); but in a lot of the cases it can be a good predictor of sex.

So appointment after appointment, the heart beat has been a steady 150 beats/min. And I slowly realized that my daughter would have a younger sister. Plus, after the first inital cravings passed, my pregnancy has followed the same pattern as my first - lots of nausea, vomiting and headaches!

I don't have a sister - a super awesome brother, but no sister. Almost everyone I know who has sisters seem to have close relationships with them. Yes, I know, most of the time they fight like cats and dogs in childhood, but as adults, wonderful friendships can develop! (and if you have experienced otherwise, don't burst my bubble!)

Both hubby and I left the ultrasound very excited, and since then, we've been brainstorming names and talking to A about her new role as Big Sister. And although we've decided to reveal the sex of the baby, we will be keeping our name choices close to our hearts - no pregnant mama needs any opinions on her name choices!

I'll be back here again soon to post a belly pic and celebrate my 2-year blogiversary, so stay tuned!

Did you grow up with sisters? Tell me about the good experiences, and gloss over the bad :)

The Real Problem with Pregnancy

The real problem with pregnancy is not the morning sickness. It's not the constant need to pee, or the lack of sleep that comes from sore hips.

The real problem with pregnancy is that you can't drink. This is a serious issue when you are living life with a crazy toddler.

In my past life, to ward off the blues and make myself a better Mom, I would drink one glass of wine with dinner. Suddenly, daughter's tantrums (or when she was a baby, crying) seemed easier to handle. Suddenly, I was "calm mom." Cool as a cucumber, baby.

Now, I must endure the endless tantrums SOBER. Unlike a cucumber, this is not cool.

I have to come up with different strategies to be a better mom. Like, I actually have to be a good parent, and read parenting books and listen to "experts." I have to practice methods, and deal with issues without the help of a wine haze.

This is tough.

Our first order of business has been to wear the child out as much as we can. The more time she has outdoors running off her steam, the better. Except apparently, this doesn't work as well as we thought - she tends to get hyperactive, and then refuses to go to bed, no matter how tired she is.

Our next step has been to make sure she's eating properly. Lots of healthy snacks. Except that we can't force feed her to eat, so sometimes she'll have low blood sugar tantrums, regardless of the snacks I'm providing.

So, on to the next strategy. Behold, my masterpiece:

This is designed to help make morning and evening routines more predictable, and hopefully ward off tantrums related to things she doesn't like to do (which is, apparently, everything). With each task accomplished, she gets to put cute magnets on the board. We tried it out tonight for the first time, and she loved it!

Except it's now 8:39pm and she still isn't asleep. She's gotten out of bed exactly 8 times...

So as I said...the real problem with pregnancy? No wine!!!

Pregnancy: 17 Weeks

I am now 17 weeks pregnant, which I'm trying to wrap my head around. The first 12 weeks seemed to drag on and on, as I dealt with nausea/vomiting, exhaustion, and horrible headaches.

But all of a sudden, time seems to be picking up speed, and I can't believe I'll soon be going to my first (and hopefully only) ultrasound this pregnancy! Despite my misgivings about ultrasound technology, it's amazing how much I'm looking forward to "seeing" inside. I know I'm supposed to be trusting my body, but there's always a niggling little worry in the back of my mind that something might be wrong.

I know a lot of pregnant bloggers who do a weekly pregnancy post, with regular updates on cravings, belly size and weight, but that's not really my thing. I haven't even taken a belly shot yet! (it's there, although small. Same as last time!) However, it's always fun to chat about certain pregnancy-related decisions and milestones, so here's a little update:

Sex?
Yes, we will be finding out the sex of the baby this time around. I really wanted it to be a surprise again, but frankly, I'm just too excited to know whether I can, a) use all the baby clothes we already have; or b) get rid of most of the baby clothes we have, and start soliciting donations for "boys" clothes. As interesting as the whole gender-neutral debate has been recently, I'm still not willing to dress a little boy in bright pink sleepers. Why? Because frankly, I just don't like pink very much!! And we seem to have ended up with A LOT of pink being given/donated to us.

Movement?
Yep, feeling a lot of kicks and bumps. Last time I didn't feel a thing until around 21-22 weeks, so it's surprising to feel movement this time. I think in my first pregnancy, I was confusing kicks with gas. I also had an anterior placenta last time, which provided added cushioning in the front and may have prevented me from feeling a lot - no idea where my placenta is this time!

Doula work?
Still attending births! The universe seems to have blessed me with short, daytime births lately, so I'm expecting to be hit over the head by a few marathoners soon. I'm waiting on one mama/baby right now, and then won't see my next client until late June/early July. Beginning in August, I will be providing some backup for one week, but have no further primary clients.

Other pregnant doulas can probably attest to the fact that doula work is certainly harder when carrying a baby. There is nausea, but also a lot of extreme tiredness and lack of energy. It's been a challenge, but not impossible! Having great backups in place is key, as I feel confident I could call someone in my place if need be. And so far, all my clients have been very supportive and understanding - given the fact that I munch away on snacks pretty much every hour, this has been great.

Renos?
Yes, we will be working on a nursery, but I have no great expectations that this little babe will sleep in there. After our experience with A, I'm fully prepared to bed-share again if need be. But if this baby decides to be a decent sleeper, then at least the room and crib will be available. This is going to involve moving A into another room (the colder room in the house, as she's always been a hot kid!), and moving our office into the basement downstairs. I'm sad to be losing a proper office space, but we're not willing to give up our guest bedroom, as we have family and friends visiting quite often.

Exercise and Overall Wellness?
Given that I'm finally feeling better, I'm getting back into a regular exercise routine. It's not much, but I'm aiming to get regular walks in almost every day of the week. Some of these are longer hikes in the ravine behind our house, but often I'm just getting out of the office at lunch time and hoofing it around the hospital. Walking the perimeter of the General Hospital takes about 25 minutes! I'm also participating in some great prenatal yoga classes once per week.

Goals? Hopes? Dreams?
In an ideal world, I'd love to be adding some additional yoga practice into my week, as well as some occasional weight bearing exercises. So far, I'm happy with just getting my walking and one-day yoga class completed, but maybe I will find the motivation to improve.

My big focus now is on better nutrition. The first 3 months were a write-off, as my main diet consisted of cheese, crackers and cereal (oh, and occasional fried foods). But now I'm adding in greens, lots of legumes and fruit. I'm still eating quite a lot of meat (for me), but I'm trusting my body that this is what I need right now. I would love to have a vegetarian pregnancy, but know that this is not realistic for me.

So far, the pregnancy seems to be chugging along well, and I look forward to sharing some ultrasound pics on here in a couple of weeks!

Happy Monday!

Seeing the Light

I need to say this very quietly. And then I need to knock on wood, spin in a circle three times, and spit on the rug.

I think the nausea may be easing up.


Now certainly, I've just jinxed it. Tomorrow will be the day I spend hours with my head in the toilet.

But really, truly, I am starting to feel a bit better. And so far, not one Diclectin pill has passed my lips (I took Diclectin throughout my entire first pregnancy. I have nothing against it, and I know it's totally safe. But for some reason, I really wanted to tough it out this time. I felt like last time I relied on Diclectin for both placebo effect and perhaps some sedation - seriously, that shit knocked me out!)

Despite my regular morning vomit (which happens like clockwork), the rest of my days have felt better. Not so many food aversions, and I'm starting to eat a more balanced diet. Here's a sample of what my diet has looked like this past month:

Wake up - eat cheerios, vomit
Toast and peanut butter (possible vomit)
Bagel and cheese, or maybe some hard boiled eggs
Pizza
Ginger Ale
Burrito (maybe a vomit here)
2 popsicles
Crackers and more cheese

Not pleasant to look at, is it? Certainly not a diet that would sustain a healthy pregnancy. However, the past several days have looked more like this:

Wake up - vomit (forget the cheerios! Throwing up water is easier)
Toast and peanut butter
Gigantic smoothie with coconut milk, avocado, banana and frozen berries
Crackers and cheese
Mary's Organic burritos (stuffed with beans and veggies - I think they're healthy, so don't pop my bubble!)
Dried fruit and nuts
Pasta dish with veggies
Protein snack right before bed

THIS diet has led me to feel much better (duh). The late night snack seems to ward off the middle-of-the-night nausea, and I haven't woken up with a migraine in a little while (knock on wood, spin in a circle three times, spit on carpet). Another trick I'm learning is to never leave the house without food. About 1-2 hours after I've eaten, I need to snack on something else, in order to avoid the empty/sick feeling I get. Dried fruit, crackers and nuts have been piling up in my purse.

So tonight I am off to my first prenatal yoga class, hoping this turning of the tide brings with it more energy and a renewed sense of positivity. I can DO this...I can be pregnant AND happy!!

Why I Won't Be Doing Prenatal Screening

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In Ontario (and most of the developed world), pregnant women are offered something called Prenatal Screening. The screening usually involves both blood work and ultrasound, and is done at around 11 weeks.

In my first pregnancy, prenatal screening wasn't really offered as a choice to me. I began my pregnancy under the care of my family doctor, as I was still on the waiting list to get a midwife. Midwives practice something called informed choice - you are given all the relevant information about specific tests/procedures, and then it's up to you to make the final decision.

Most doctors, however, do not practice informed choice, and instead tend to offer up tests/procedures as the "normal" thing to do. There's a whole body of evidence out there which shows that most clinicians are not successful at involving their patients in making health care decisions.

So when prenatal screening comes up in pregnancy, it's not so much a choice, as it is "the thing to do." And so I did!

If women understand the consequences of the screening, and have a good grasp on what they would do with the information, then there is no problem. But when women are unsure, or consent to procedures without really understanding what's going to happen, then it is a problem.

Screening tests for three things - Down Syndrome, Trisomy 18 and Open Neural Tube Defects. You will be told your chance of having a baby with these conditions (e.g. 1 in 250), and if your chance is higher than expected, you have a positive result. This does not necessarily mean your baby has one of these conditions, but it does mean you're offered further diagnostic testing (usually in the form of amniocentesis, which carries its own risks). If an accurate diagnosis is made through amnio, then you have three options:

1) Prepare yourself for life with a child who has disabilities, or a child who will die shortly after birth (depending on the severity of the condition)

2) Plan to give your child up for adoption if you feel you cannot handle caring for a child with disabilities

3) Abort your pregnancy

Clearly, none of these options are what any parent wants to go through. We all want to have a healthy child. But once you choose to undergo prenatal screening, you must be able to think ahead and imagine what you might do with the information you are given. If you get a positive result, will you go for amniocentesis (despite its small risk of miscarriage)? If you get a diagnosis, which option will you choose?

Testing for these conditions also raises a number of ethical issues, and potentially better screening tools soon to come on the market may have parents choosing to abort before they've had a glimpse of their baby via ultrasound or through movements felt - before any kind of bonding has occurred. Some experts suggest that the abortion rate for parents who discover their baby has Down Syndrome could be as high as 90%. Parents of children with Down Syndrome are concerned over this fact, as clearly, children with Down Syndrome are just as loved/special/amazing as children without the extra chromosome. As genetic testing becomes more advanced and available, you have to wonder where this will take us? How far is too far?

The 90% abortion rate definitely scares me. As a second time parent, I have firsthand experience loving a child. I bonded with my baby immediately upon discovering I was pregnant this time around. But as a first-time mom, I remember the baby in my belly being kind of abstract. Bonding didn't happen until later (and probably even later than it happens between most other mothers and babies). If the test had discovered one of the three conditions, would I have considered abortion and gone on to have major regrets? Part of me thinks "no," that I would have just prepared myself for life with a child with disabilities, but I wonder if other mothers out there have regretted the hasty decision.

So this time around, we have opted not to do prenatal screening. If I received the diagnosis during pregnancy, I don't think the information would be good for my well being. I'm a worrier, and my anxiety would probably rise to unmanageable levels. Plus, I'm a kinesthetic learner - I learn by doing and experiencing, not by reading books or observing other people's experiences. So life with a child with disabilities would be a shock, but I would need to learn as I went along.

Plus, as my midwife put it, "if you're a woman who believes in letting nature take its course, then prenatal screening is probably not the right choice for you." And that's exactly who I am - I believe that all things happen for a reason, and I would be willing to go down a difficult path if I needed to. Even one where I might have to say goodbye to my baby shortly after birth.

What is your experience with prenatal screening?

{Ottawa Doula} Sabbatical

As this pregnancy moves along, I am reminded daily that I will soon be taking a sabbatical from birth doula work. Every visit that I make to my client's homes and every baby that I witness coming into the world is bittersweet. I know that soon I will be the one on the birthing stool, and although I anticipate the joy of this, I know that my days of jumping out of bed to attend a birth at 1 a.m. are numbered.

Turning away clients has so far been the hardest part. I will not be taking on primary clients after August 1st (although may provide occasional backup for my doula friends). With each email I send out, I don't mourn so much the loss of income or "business," but more the loss of an intimate connection with people on the path to parenthood.

In this job, there needs to be boundaries (of course), but these boundaries are loose and sometimes transparent. I witness what we normally deem to be human frailty, or perhaps loss of control. As we go about our daily lives, meeting and working with other people, it's unlikely we have the opportunity to see the nakedness of our humanity - to see ourselves as we have always been. Animalistic, primal, and grounded.

Palliative care nurses may say the same - in our jobs, we see the essence of this life. We witness the comings and goings; the circle as it begins and completes. It is whole, it is real, and it never ceases to amaze me.

But doula work is hard with little ones around. You must have someone who is willing to take your kids at the last minute, and sometimes at unpredictable hours (depending on what your husband does - mine does not have a 9-5 job, and so we sometimes need childcare before 7 a.m. or after 5 p.m.). As well, you become that person. The one that cancels last minute, or just never shows up to events or appointments. The one that can only make plans by saying "however, I'm on-call for a birth at that time..." The one who can only travel if she takes 4 weeks off, and doesn't get paid for vacation.

As well, doula work does not pay a lot. Most people balk at the cost ("what!! You charge $550 to attend a birth?!"), but depending on the length of the birth and the hours I have dedicated to pre and postnatal care, I'm sometimes getting paid $15 per hour. For our family, full-time doula work (4 births per month) would not pay the bills. I've also come to the conclusion that my current life, with 3 days per week of work at the hospital and 2 births per month, while caring for a preschooler and a small baby, would be madness.

So despite the fact that I think I've found my calling; the thing I've always wanted to do with my life, I may need to step away for a while. Or at least until I can find a way to manage my home, love my children, give my hubby the attention he deserves, be a good friend/daughter/sister, AND attend births...all at the same time, and with a smile!

But stepping away doesn't mean saying goodbye. I'm happy to say I will soon be teaching prenatal classes with Birthcare. And with that comes the occasional backup I can do for other instructors, who are all doulas themselves. It may also be possible for me to do extra training in breastfeeding and postpartum doula care, which although the market is highly saturated, may offer some better daytime hours. And I will certainly never turn away a repeat client - the joy of following someone through to their second (or third!) pregnancy is too much to give up.

So, my hope is to have the best of both worlds. To keep my foot in the door, for when I feel like life will allow me to return. Giving up on my dream job is not an option. Allowing my dream to work alongside reality, is.

Are you a small business owner or doula? How do you manage to balance work life with small children?

For the joy of it

Remember this post? I had Feist's song stuck in my head at the time...

The decision to have a second (or third, or fourth, or...) baby is a deeply personal and highly charged decision. Or maybe not. Maybe your decision was quite simple - at the age of 16, for instance, you decided that you would have exactly 2 children. One boy, and one girl, for good measure.

For me, the decision was deeply personal and convoluted. There were moments where my husband felt ready for another baby, and I felt ready for my next glass of wine. Then there were moments where I felt the tug of baby as an ancient and powerful female desire. My uterus was literally calling out to me. And at these moments, hubby was quite content to head to the fridge for his next beer.

All of a sudden, though, we seemed to click. We began tentatively discussing "if," and then soon we were discussing "when." It came down to this: we ultimately could not see ourselves moving on in life without inviting another little person join our clan.

Maybe this little person would decline our invitation. Maybe once they showed up, they would be the unwelcome house guest (or that douche bag roommate you lived with in college) - getting drunk and rowdy, staying up too late into the night, waking us up at ungodly hours. Maybe they would even cry a lot and be emotionally dependent.

But we felt compelled to write the invitation.

Because buried within the chaos of The World of Newborn, there are hidden gems, worth ten times the frustration, sleep deprivation, guilt and sadness that may come along with parenthood. And with each "phase" there comes more joy and laughter  - when you meet your partner's eyes over the top of your child's head, and mutually bask in the question "did we actually make this little character?"

In the words of Peggy Vincent, we took a leap of faith, "just for the joy of it."

I may question my parenting techniques, my ability to be a good mother, and, let's be honest, my sanity. But what I will never question is whether I have the capacity to love. I will never wonder whether there will be joy. I will never wonder whether I made a mistake, because there are no mistakes in motherhood - there are only solid stepping stones of success and personal growth (and yes, these come with heartache and occasional exhaustion!)

And although I must sound as though I'm walking through the valley of the blissful-pregnant-lady, I'm also highly realistic of what's in store for us. Which is why I realize that my birth doula work may need to be on hold for a couple of years; and why I might need to be resourceful in finding ways to make money AND be a good mom; and why I need to stock away every last penny right now, in order to survive the bare-bones EI benefits I will receive; and why I might need to swallow my pride and just reach out for help.

So with eyes wide open, we moved forward, and extended the invitation. And a miniature someone received, and accepted.

{Ottawa Doula} Reduction: Deciding to terminate one baby in multiples

I work in the childbirth field, and yet I feel like I'm learning new things every minute:

READ THIS

Although I'd heard women of multiples getting one "sucked out" (which, by the way, is not how it works at all), I had never read about the procedure or how controversial it is.

Actually, it's not all that controversial when women are found to be carrying triplets (or more) and opt for a reduction. It becomes controversial when a women with twins wants a reduction to just one baby.

Instead of writing a big long post about this, I thought I'd get your opinion.

Would you reduce a pregnancy if you found out you were having twins?

{Ottawa Doula} Let's talk about.....sex

Yes, I'm going to do it (pun intended).

I'm going to talk about the thing that we don't really talk about - unless you're a bunch of moms diving into glasses of beer and wine, while experiencing several hours of kid-free bliss at a local high-end establishment (as I may have been doing the other evening).

Then you talk about it.

IT......SEX. (Disclaimer: this post contains scenes of nudity and coarse language. Reader discretion is advised.)

Sex is one thing that expectant parents want to know more about, but is a subject that is hard to broach with family, friends and healthcare providers.

Oh sure, there's plenty of information out there. All of your pregnancy books will talk about sex during pregnancy and postpartum, and you can read anything you want on popular baby websites.

But the reality is usually quite different, and as with any issue/topic, you can be treading muddied waters. No woman (or man) is the same, and experiences differ widely.

I thought a lot about how to write on this topic - should I make bullet points? List some of the myths associated with pregnancy and sex? Write about my own experience (ummm....TMI)? Then I thought about a top 10 list...."top 10 things you might not know about sex." But I think we all know those.

For instance, I'm sure you're well aware that a man's penis cannot "bump" into your baby's head while having sex during pregnancy. And your baby cannot "feel" you having sex. And from my post the other week, you know that orgasm during childbirth is rare (and perhaps a myth). And you probably realize that you won't be jumping right back into the sack after pushing out your baby.

But what is "normal"? What kinds of things might happen to you, and what kinds of things will you experience?

To answer this question, I always like to consult Season 4 of Sex and the City. Because, you know, Sex and the City is just like real life....really. We all have oodles of money to spend on fancy restaurants and posh New York night clubs. And we all live in really awesome apartments in the Big Apple. Come on, I can dream though, can't I?

The reason I like Miranda's experience in pregnancy is that the show's producers stick to pretty "normal" issues - Miranda puking on the phone while talking to Carrie; Miranda farting up a stinky storm in a shoe store; Miranda so horny that she'll sleep with father/ex-lover Steve; and Miranda feeling lost in the postpartum period, as she struggles with sleep deprivation, loss of non-mommy friends, and a pretty dry sex life.

So to add to this list, let's create some additional fictional episodes of Sex and the City, featuring a pregnant (or postpartum) Miranda - I know I've also committed blasphemy by not remaining true to the story, as Steve is not really supposed to be living with Miranda. Please don't write me emails trying to educate me on how Season 4 really went :)

These are all issues that women, at one time or another, have dealt with. And I've probably missed plenty of them, so feel free to add.

Episode 1
Contrary to the real Sex and the City episode, this time, Miranda is pregnant and does not want to have sex. She has no desire, whatsoever. She is big, bloated, and can't even see her toes, let alone her vagina. So no sex here Steve-o, sorry!!

Episode 2
The girls meet at their local spot, and Miranda worries about the state of her vagina, post-baby. She experienced a 2nd degree tear, and wonders if it will ever be the same "down there" again. The episode ends positively, with Miranda braving a peek with a mirror, and discovering it pretty much looks the same - minus the stitches, swelling and bleeding (kidding! It totally goes back to normal....I promise....although you may experience more of those unpleasant "queefs" than you did pre-pregnancy, a.k.a farts out of your vagina)

Episode 3
Miranda has decided to bed-share with little Brady, and Steve makes the mistake of disagreeing with her. He thinks it will "ruin" their sex lives. Miranda points out that, first of all, she has no interest in having sex at the moment. And second of all, if Steve is so disingenuous that he can't think of some alternate places to make love, than maybe he's not such a great lover after all.

Episode 4
Miranda and Steve decide to try to have sex 6 weeks after the birth, only to realize that Miranda's birth canal has turned into the Arabian desert - dry, dry, dry. They must use an entire bottle of lubricant just to get things going, which quickly evaporates within the place-where-no-wet-things-live.

Episode 5
Miranda worries about birth control. Her period comes back much earlier than she thought it would (while breastfeeding) and she knows her body will soon be back into baby-making shape. But this is not good - ohhhhh no, definitely not good. No babies, ever again (or so she thinks). So, a birth control conversation takes place amongst the girls. Condoms are out - much too sore for a dry girl. The pill is out - no hormones while breastfeeding! The IUD is expensive.....but, maybe she could try Taking Charge of Your Fertility, the wildly popular new do-it-yourself gynaecological bible (seriously, read it. It's good!)

Episode 6
Miranda and Steve quickly realize that they won't be having sex after the typical "6 week postpartum" rule. It may be more like a "6 year postpartum" rule. Miranda feels pressured to have sex, and Steve feels put out that Miranda isn't ready when the pregnancy books say she will be. In fact, after the first year postpartum, they count that they have had sex only 4 times. That's averaging 0.3 times per month.

Episode 7 - the happy ending
Miranda and Steve finally have a successful "coming together" and Miranda discovers that not only is her body back to normal, but sex is better than it ever was before! Samantha is very jealous, and considers having a child herself.

See? Everything always ends happily.....on TV. But in real life, it might not. Severe tearing, crappy suturing jobs, and infections can make for a not-so-good sex life. Things sometimes get a little tight down there if you've been sewn up. If this is the case, I suggest you consult a knowledgeable physiotherapist about getting your "flexibility" back. Here's a great one in Ottawa: Heather Grewar

Babies take up a lot of physical space. They suck away at you (literally) for most hours of the day, and the last thing you want to do at the end of the day is hop into your lacy panties and put on Marvin Gaye's "Get It On." Some women struggle with sexual desire even when their babies grow up into toddlers. My advice to you would be to recall situations/memories when you easily experienced sexual desires, and try to recreate them. Most women begin to drool over the sight of a clean kitchen, folded laundry and washed floors....hubbies, take note!!

In addition to physical issues, feelings and emotions can also play a role in postpartum sex. Both Mom and Dad can feel traumatized by their birth experience. Some men who are unprepared for childbirth (and who may have specific fears relating to blood etc.) can experience significant trauma related to his witnessing of the birth. Women may feel disappointed or angry if the birth didn't go as planned. These issues should most definitely be dealt with, especially if you want to maintain a strong relationship with your partner for years to come. A good counsellor can go a long way in helping you both work through various challenges.

Ladies (and men), do not despair. If  your sex life was great before baby, it can still be great post-baby. If you give yourself time, and if your hubby is willing to give you time (sans guilt trip), then it can make your first tries quite fun - almost like being a virgin again!

But remember, both of you are responsible for making your sex life work. And if you don't want it to work, well, that's another kettle of fish.

Reporting from between the bed sheets, I'm Misty Pratt.

Babies in 3D

I came across this article today, about the rise in numbers of parents scheduling 3D and 4D ultrasounds of their babies. This particular article is about "fetus parties" (which sounds really weird), but touches on the issue of ultrasound in general.

Studies conducted in the recent past have concluded that ultrasound in prenatal care has no significant impacts on neurological development. However, more recent studies (such as quoted here), have found brain damage in ultrasound experiments with mice - the kind of damage consistent in the brains of children with autism.

Now, we know that everyone is trying to pin the blame for autism somewhere. I've written about possible links to pitocin, and you know the rumours (yes, just rumours - nothing has been proven) over links with vaccinations.

Both of those things concern me, too. I didn't have to worry about pitocin, as I was not induced and my labour wasn't augmented. I did vaccinate my child, but with some reservations. I was not so much worried about the link to autism (as I had read about the retraction of the Lancet article), but I was worried more about the preservatives used in the vaccines. Injecting my child with formaldehyde doesn't seem very appealing, but I weighed the risks and benefits, and made an informed choice.

But when it comes to ultrasound, no one talks about risks. Ultrasounds are made out to be "perfectly safe," and women are sent for ultrasounds any time a small concern arises. Furthermore, as the article discusses above, new 3D and 4D ultrasounds are bringing in the big bucks by offering expectant parents a chance to view their child in a way that makes them look "real" (as opposed to the alien-like pictures you are given at your regular ultrasound appointments). Most parents I know (including myself!) have no idea that there are suspected risks involved with ultrasound technology.

Here's my ultrasound experience:
When I first got pregnant, I was sent for a "dating" ultrasound, as my menstrual cycles had not been very regular (because, of course, we have to know our exact due dates...insert sarcasm). This occurred at 10 weeks. I later consented to the regular 20 week ultrasound, which also included the prenatal screening for things like Down's Syndrome. However, my baby was not very cooperative in my belly, and they couldn't get proper measurements. So, back again the following week!

Several weeks later I experienced some light spotting, and was sent for another one to confirm everything was OK (it was). This was followed by another ultrasound to check growth, as my belly was not growing the average 1cm per week. In dealing with an inept technician at the Kemptville Hospital, I then had to go back for a repeat ultrasound to check again.

So let's count them: that's SIX ultrasounds! And that was for a healthy, low-risk pregnancy. I wonder how many ultrasounds women get who are considered high-risk?

I'm not trying to scare you here into refusing all ultrasounds. Clearly, much more research needs to be done to find out if there are any risks to your baby. But what I am trying to do here is to highlight that ultrasound technology does do something, and there is evidence that this "something" affects the brain. So if you are consenting to many unnecessary ultrasounds and participating in these costly 3D and 4D sessions, you may want to do a bit more reading.

Technology often comes with a cost. Maybe it's time for us to become more aware of those costs, and the impact they're having on our babies and our children.

{Ottawa Doula} Midwifery: Fact and Myth

It's not shocking to me at all how often I come across regular folks who have no clue what a midwife does.

I was there, too.

Before becoming pregnant with my first child, I gave no thought to my care provider. I pictured myself visiting my family doctor and being referred to an obstetrician. It was the fortuitous meeting I had one day with a local midwife that changed the course of my life forever (I guess you could say my pregnancy changed the course of my life forever, but I'm going for dramatic effect here!)

I interviewed this student midwife for a short one-month placement at Hopewell (Ottawa's only eating disorder support centre - as a side note, all midwives are expected to do one community-based placement; women with eating disorders get pregnant too, hence this midwife was particularly interested in this issue) She opened my eyes to the possibility of having a midwife care for me during my pregnancy.

So I would like to share with you some of the things I've learned about midwives, which will dispel some of the myths floating around out there. These tidbits are designed to surreptitiously indoctrinate gently urge you to seek out more information about midwifery care.

• You cannot have an OB (or family doc.) and a midwife; you can  have one or the other. There are exceptions - some women advocate for "shared care." These are generally women who are higher-risk but would like a compassionate, caring midwife to support them in their medical decisions.
• Midwives are highly trained professionals. They have not stumbled out of the forest wearing birkenstocks, and they don't arrive at your birth with a dirty towel and piece of shoestring
• Their training program is 4 years long, most of which is hands-on clincial experience
• Midwives care for low-risk pregnant women - they will not take on women who clearly need the expertise of an obstetrician.
• Midwives DO deliver primarily in hospitals. Yes, they do homebirths as well, but only if you're a good candidate, and only if you actually want to!
• Midwives will call in an OB consult if something abnormal comes up during your pregnancy/birth. Often this is just a quick face-to-face with an OB, whereby they give some advice and then you are back in the care of your midwife. Sometimes, transfers of care happen, but most midwives will stay with you and support you throughout.
• Midwives are trained to view birth as normal, until proven otherwise (OBs are trained to view birth as abnormal, until proven otherwise)
• Midwives discharge you from hospital earlier - which means less time stuck in semi-private rooms with other crying babies (and maybe even crying mommies).
• Midwives visit you at home in the postpartum period. AT HOME....like, on your couch!! I can't stress enough how amazing this is.
• A midwifery appt is usually 30min long, and allows for lots of discussion time. It's casual, and you get to meet with both your primary midwife (many times) and your secondary midwife (several times). An OB appt is 15min long, and if you go to the Ottawa Hospital, you will most likely never see your OB. You'll see a different resident each time.
• A midwife catches your baby. An OB "delivers" your baby (like a pizza), and they will arrive in the room when the head is crowning.
• Midwives have signicantly better outcomes than OBs - lower rates of intervention (e.g. episiotomy) and lower c-section rates
• Midwives practice informed decision making and informed consent. That means, every single little thing that happens during your pregnancy/birth is discussed beforehand, and you always have the right to refuse. Hospitals claim they practice these things too, but it's variable.

There are probably many more points I could add, but I hope this dispels some of the myths you have been hearing about midwives here in Ontario. As you may have read from my last post, there is a big push for more midwifery care here in Ontario. A birth attended by a midwife costs less than one attended by a family doctor, and significantly less than one attended by an OB.

We are now headed in a direction where soon, most low-risk pregnancies will be followed by midwives. It may not happen next year, but certainly in the next ten years. It just makes sense.

If you've had the care of a midwife, please share your story below! What was your experience like?