Somehow I've ended up with a five-month old on my lap. I keep looking around and wondering when the producers will jump out and say "gotcha! You're on candid camera!"
Motherhood has crept up on me. I look at the calendar disbelieving - I'll be how old this year? 33?? And I have how many kids? 2!? You must be mad!!
Seriously, most days I feel like I need my own mother around. I just want someone to hold me and rock me to sleep, and sing me sweet songs.
But alas, I stumble through the days, wondering whether I'm "mom enough." The kiddos seem to be alright. We have adjusted to being a family of four, and most nights I can give myself a little pat on the back for surviving another day. In fact, some days I even think this mothering gig ain't so bad!
I'm starting to come out of my postpartum fog, and my thoughts are turning to work. Namely, what will I do with myself when this year of maternity leave is over? Should I stay home? Should I go back to the office? Should I continue birth doula work? (actually, that question's been answered...I will be returning slowly by accepting clients with due dates after November 1st this year).
But there are still 7 months to go, and lots of time to focus on my sweet little baby. My last baby, *sob*. Every day I sniff her downy little head and kiss her soft, soft cheeks. I know how lucky I am.
Here's a picture taken by Big Sister....not bad for a three year old, eh?
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