I have a deadline at work that has been keeping me glued to a computer, all day long, with few breaks. My wrists are aching from repetitive motion, and words like "mean, standard deviation and standard error" are rattling around in my brain. I have been staring at massive spreadsheets with eeny weeny numbers on them and transferring all this data into pretty Word tables.
So the blog posts I have been composing leave much to be desired. My theme this week is "community and motherhood" and I had planned on writing some excellently researched articles, with links, resources and quotes. But in reading through what I have written, I'm sad to say that these posts are BORING!!
And while I was doing some jumping jacks here in my computer room (to get blood flowing again), a thought came to me: I didn't start this blog to be academic and witty. I started this blog anonymously so that I could have a place to write creatively and spill my issues/thoughts/concerns onto virtual paper. So why now all this pressure to write a blog that is everything: educational, funny, touching and personal?
On the subject of community, this past year I have dived headfirst into the community of social media. I have met many wonderful people, but have (of course) started comparing myself to other blogs. All of a sudden, I needed to do things better! How come my blog doesn't have 5,000 followers? How come my blog is full of silly personal anecdotes when there are so many more important stories out there? I decided my blog needed to be a place for people to come to read about a variety of topics - other doulas/midwives/mamas should be reading my blog!!!
The problem with expectations, of course, is that they often go unmet. My jumping jacks jolted me out of my fantasy of world-wide blogger fame, and back to the matter at hand - for me, this blog is for fun; it's creative; and I love interacting with other mommies in my community. I like sharing personal stories because the majority of my readers are family and friends!
I haven't abandoned my idea of some interesting posts on community and motherhood, but I've gone back to the drawing board to take a deep breath and tap into my creativity. After all, no one wants to read a research paper (let alone me, after the thousands I have to read at work).
Stay tuned, mes amies...